Earplugs are one of the greatest inventions in the world, ever. Suddenly an unbearably loud ferry full of children is muted to a soft roar. Even loud ho's on their cell phones are shunted by the little foam bits stuffed into my ears. Sometimes I don't understand how some people's voices are so loud. They carry the length of a football stadium with no amplification, and no loss of power.
Now that I've gone ahead and bitched about something, I'll go on to awesomeness.
I was born and raised in North Carolina, and when I think of true home, that's where it is, with a breeze of Louisiana and Arkansas seeping up from the roots. When I was a young thing in the beginnings of my world, I took ballet. A lot. Among the many other young things that passed over the dance floor of Bonita's School of Ballet, one of them had white-blonde hair and a megawatt smile. Her name is Katherine Southard, and she grew up to be this bombshell, also known as Miss North Carolina:
I always knew you had it going on, Katherine!
Your ability to be genuine, gracious, and politically correct enough to be family friendly while also smokin hot impresses me greatly.
And now, in an example of my inability to do so, a plug for my pole dance class. If we share a similar zip code, trot over to Emerald City Trapeze Arts and sign up for my bangin pole class. Here's what it is not:
I will not teach you how to strip. That's more of a self-taught skill.
Here's what it is:
I will teach you as many spins as you can handle, followed by acrobatic poses that will leave your inner thighs bruised red and gray. I will run you through a gauntlet of conditioning and extreme stretching exercises, and make sure you feel it for at least two days afterwards. Fun!